Dear Mr. Jones — Part II

by - August 1, 2011 - Posted in Dear Mr. Jones

Dear Mr. Jones,

It’s been a while since we’ve talked.  We’d like to say that our relationship has changed in a way that works for both of us, but we’re sorry to say we can’t.  We Cowboys fans again feel the disappointment of another lost season, and at the time of this letter you continue to break our hearts by deciding to lay low amidst one of the crazier free agency periods in recent memory.

You do remember us fans, right, Jerry?  We pay your oversized salary.

Let’s be honest.  All in all, you’re a pretty damned good owner.  We’re not above letting you know that, even at the risk of it going to your already massive head. Cowboys Stadium is a masterpiece, and you’d be hard pressed to hear anyone say a bad thing about it (parking, however…that’s a whole other matter).  While some players find your theatrics in the bargaining room overly dramatic and silly, we fans largely have faith in your abilities in that forum.  As a businessman it’s hard to argue with the results.  Running the world’s second-most valuable franchise is a feat impressive by any measure.

But—and you knew there would be a “but”—your abilities as a general manager are still underwhelming, depressing, and downright embarrassing to us fans.  With just one playoff win in 13 seasons the team is adrift in mediocrity.  For every one step forward (see: Parcells, Bill) you take two steps back (see: Owens, Terrell, and Phillips, Wade).  With the generally lauded ascension of Jason Garrett we fans can only cringe as we wait for the dreaded two steps in the opposite direction that are sure to come.

You’ve heard our complaints time and again.  You know we disagree with most of your personnel decisions.  You know your tendency to coach from the suite  and speak ad nauseum anytime a microphone is near bothers us to no end.

So what do we ask?  Very little.  Your way hasn’t worked since Kurt Cobain was fronting Nirvana.  Don’t you owe us a shot at another way?

Try this:

  1. Hire a personnel director/GM from outside of the organization.  He last name cannot be Jones, and he cannot be related in any way to you or your family.
  2. Stick with being a great owner, and stay out of the personnel side.  Start preparing little Stephen to take over the role of crazy owner guy.
  3. Make sure you do #1

That’s all we ask, Jerry.  Please fire the worst GM in the NFL.  He’s that guy in your mirror.

The Fans

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